The Offended Card

Sanne Burger

17 April 2023


God, I have offended so many people, just by being honest, direct and open.
Just by not believing anything straight away.
Just by using my critical thinking, my discernment, my intelligence.
For many people such an attitude is a reason to shriek: “Now I am offended!”
and end the conversation.
Being offended has become a trump card, a way of bailing out without losing face.
But in reality, playing the Offended Card is a cop out.
It is a card for spineless, spoiled, petty, pathetic whiners.
The Offended Card has become a legitimate way to end any type of discussion.
It has become a justification for walking away from any given situation, no matter how rude.
Usually people play the Offended Card when they are confronted with a fact they can’t handle, most of the time about their well maintained and polished self image.
Playing the Offended Card usually goes hand in hand with cognitive dissonance.
Instead of admitting: “I can’t handle this level of discomfort right now” they blame it on you and are offended.

Just the other day I spoke to a guy who announced: “Everyone should vote!”
Nobody had asked for his opinion, but apparently he couldn’t resist the urge to let us all know.
I responded: “Well, I don’t particularly trust the government, so I don’t vote.”
He replied: “Well, you should know that we live in the most tolerant country in the world.
And I can know this, because I have travelled.”
So I said: “Well, in that case, what is your opinion about the benefit scandal (it was in the Netherlands), where more than a 1000 children were taken from their homes by the government for no reason?
What do you think of the fact that they have disappeared and their parents have been left in the cold?
What do you think of the infiltration of the unelected WHO and the WEF in this country?
Do you still believe we live in a democracy?
And if so, what do you base that on?
And what do you think of the increasing suicide rates, the crumbling economy, the fact that our minister of health was lying about the liability of the vaccines, the excess mortality rates and the increased number of miscarriages?
Don’t you think it’s a bit naïve to put your trust in a government who, based on the facts, is not very trustworthy?”
The guy shrieked: “What? Are you calling me naïve? Now I am offended!”
He grabbed his purse and his chihuahua and walked away.
End of conversation.

Those kind of people, with such long toes, who can’t handle any criticism, who hate an intellectual challenge, who start hyperventilating when their beliefs are questioned, who are not able to give anything or anyone the benefit of the doubt, who panick when they are confronted with their own ignorance, who refuse to investigate, who completely lack the ability of self-inquiry, but instead get offended and end the conversation the moment it is going somewhere … those people are so frikkin annoying!
To disagree with someone doesn’t mean you attack him.
To disagree with someone doesn’t usually mean that you look down on him, that you think of him as a lesser person, that you want to insult, humiliate, hurt, curse, kill, threaten or damage him, or that you are dangerous in any other way.
It just means you disagree!
Well, maybe you are entitled to be a little bit offended when someone calls you an idiot, or a moron, or a sheep, or dumb, or stupid, or a criminal (if you aren’t).
But naïve?
Naïve isn’t even a swear word!
It’s not a judgment either, it is just an observation.
And it is even cute!
Naïvity is cute!
Naïvity means that you still choose to trust, against all odds.
That is a good thing!
I envy people who are naïve, because I am not.
I am jaded.
I am cynical.
I don’t trust anything or anyone anymore, because I cannot and don’t want to and will not deny the facts.
I am rather offended then pampered.
I am rather offended then to miss out on an opportunity to learn something about life or myself.
I rather have my reality crushed then to talk about the weather and other safe things, like pets or world peace.
I am fed up with walking on egg shells all the time, because oh heavens, I might offend someone.
I live in the Offended Generation.
Why me?

I mean, who cares when you are offended?
What’s the big deal?
To be offended just means you have a big ego!
Get over yourself!
And besides, it’s not fair.
It’s not fair to walk away once you have engaged in an inquiry with someone, once you have opened up a discussion, once you are in the process of discussing important matters.
A good talk requires commitment!
It’s really daft to say: “Oh, now I am offended!” in the middle of a talk and then walk away.
Same with phone calls, even with apps.
Even on social media!
Such behavior is not serving the truth.
It is just serving your fragile ego.
And besides, it is extremely disrespectful.
Damn, show some backbone, dude!
Show some balls!
Show some courage!
Show some guts!
Show some flexibility!
Broaden your mind, so you are not offended that easily.
Get informed, so you have something to offer in return!

God, I love real people.
People with whom you can have a proper talk.
A person who will not be offended, not even when you raise your voice, or when you exaggerate, or when you get ahead of yourself, or when you get carried away, or when you are self-righteous, or when you keep interfering, or when you show too many feelings, too much passion, too much engagement.
A person who will just say at a certain point: “Enough!” and then come with a reply.
A proper, strong, clear, honest reply, showing that he has heard you, that he has taken it to heart and that he has processed what you just said.
And yes, a person like that might raise his voice too, and he might exaggerate, and he might get ahead of himself, and he might be self-righteous, but that’s okay, because at least he is not offended and he doesn’t walk away.
Instead he will keep the discussion going until an agreement has been reached.
He will nourish the conversation by saying:
“I don’t believe you!
Tell me more!
This is insane!
I don’t understand!
Explain it to me!
What are you talking about?
No way!”
But he will not walk away.
And he doesn’t mind if emotions get stirred or things get out of hand.
On the contrary!
It doesn’t matter if in the heat of the moment hurtful things are being said, or when diplomacy and nuance are out the window, because the only thing that matters is the truth, not our fragile egos and weak personalities.
A good talk is accompagnied by blood, sweat and tears.

Why is it that only people who have been through hardship have the balls to be real?
Is it because they have learned that every moment counts?
Is it because they are done wasting time on futilities?
Is it because they have learned to live with fear and are no longer controlled by it?
Is it because they are stronger?
It certainly looks like!
I am done considering soft, spoiled people who get offended when I just look at them or when I don’t like the colour of their socks.
Some of them even say: “Well, you didn’t say it, but you were thinking it, so now I am offended anyway.”
Like, really?

Sanne Burger


  1. Gijs

    Hmmmm not so sure if not voting serves anything else than your own ego. I can’t see yet a non governed country despite all the bullshit that is being produced by governments. It is a sad conclusion but we better engage in a better future than bailing out totally. I like a proper dispute and love your “knuppel in het hoenderhok” approach. I think that the right leaders are spiritually engaged and developed ones. The people who come from a loving place but are clear as crystal. Thanks for sharing! Gijs

    • Sanne Burger

      Hi Gijs, first I had to look up ‘knuppel in het hoenderhok’: ‘cat among the pigeons’, ‘sending the fox in to count the chicken’, ‘throwing a bombshell’, ‘rocking the boat’ (neh), ‘stir the pot’, ‘bat in the hen house’, ‘toss in the dynamite’ … love! 🙂
      Then the question whether voting serves anything else but my ego. I believe it does. First of all, I’m not usually boasting my not voting, like people did when they got the jab, for example. I don’t put it on my profile picture and I don’t post a photo showing me NOT voting (how would one show that? Wear a t-shirt?). I don’t believe that the compromise of setteling for a corrupt, failing government because you can’t see an alternative is a good option. If enough people wouldn’t vote it would give a clear signal that governments have to up their game or resign, because people are not buying into the lies and crimes anymore. That would make space for real leaders – like the ones you describe – to come forward and for new options and structures to occur. I feel that is long overdue.
      Where is your limit? Many people have reached their limit already, because their children have been taken away from them, because their 5 yr olds are groomed in primary school, because they can’t pay the bills anymore, no matter how hard they work, because their houses and businesses have been stolen from under them, because they are stuck, because they are sick after the jabs, because they are lied to and have had it up til here. It could be you. It could be me. Could it be that you underestimate the dire situation we are in right now?

  2. Gijs Nooteboom

    Hey Sanne, thanks for your response. Yes for sure it can be me underestimating the direness of our situation we are in right now. For sure I am not the all knower, who is? My claim would be that we have to work together in a loving and caring way to get out of this broken system. And yes it can be me or you to become a victim in and of this system. I believe there are people who honestly try to create a better world, or a less broken one. Our egos are mostly sitting in the way. As well those of the victims as those leading the pack.We have to work it out from within not by being rebellious or blaming but by being constructive and critical. How hard this may be. Spiritually we know that all the goodness sits in every body. Let us work on a way that we all experience this and create a perspective we can pour our energy into making progress day by day. I know it sounds like wishful thinking and very conceptually but after the Kali Yuga period (sadly we are part of this reality) we will return to something of a higher order. Let us not wait for that but start today.


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