Beloved

My hands are clenched to fists
My teeth are clenched
My hips hurt
Everything hurts
I can’t move
I’m stuck

Please help me, darling
Put your hands around my fists
Hold them, until they soften
Open my fingers, one by one
Until my hands can rest in my lap again

Sit behind me
So I can lean against you
Embrace me with your arms
Embrace me with your wings
So I can disappear into your feathers

Stroke my back, until I dare to relax again
Put your hand on my chest, until I can breathe again
Kiss my forehead, so I can stop frowning
Whisper sweet things into my ear
So I don’t hear the screams anymore
So I can stop thinking

Gently kiss my neck
So my head doesn’t feel so heavy anymore
Massage my shoulders
So I can let go of the weight I am carrying
Put flowers on my eyes
So just for a moment, I can forget about the ugliness of the world

Put honey in my mouth
So I can taste the sweetness of life
Drip sandalwood on my wrists
So I can smell the wisdom of the woods

Take of my armor
My harness
My helmet
My sword
My belt
My boots
My scales
My spikes

Tell me your deepest, darkest secrets
So that I know you trust me
Look me in the eye, until we both start crying
Keep looking, until we both start laughing

Come, lay next to me
And gently put your hand on my vagina
As tender as if you were holding a bird
Let it rest there
Until I feel safe again
Comfort me
Reassure me that there is nothing I have to do in order for you to love me

Let me hide in the palm of your hand
Let me curl up in a ball on your lap
Like a cat
Stroke my hair, so I can fall asleep
Let me sleep an eternity

Help me to heal, honey
Help me to heal
So one day
I can put my hands around your fists
Until they soften

~~~~~~

Sanne Burger
sanneburger.com