Your true face

Sanne Burger

28 October 2021

Honey, you always pretend to be happy
Whenever you see someone, you put on a smile
You have taught yourself to hide your true feelings

You always have a happy face
You always have a happy smile
You always have a happy mask

Even when you look in the mirror, you pull a happy face
You’re not looking in the mirror to look at yourself
You look in the mirror to check whether your mask is still on

When you take a selfie
You imagine everybody is looking at you
And you make sure you look even happier

However, when you grow older
Your true feelings will be revealed
Through your face
Through your wrinkles
Through your body

Over time, the lines around your mouth
Will start showing your bitterness
Your disappointment in life
All those times you had to trudge and tread

The furrows between your eyebrows will become deeper
Showing the anger inside you
All these moments you had to suppress your rage
Not knowing how to deal with the injustice

The vertical lines in your cheeks will start showing your fatigue
They will show how extremely tired you are
Of fighting
Of pretending

Over time, your body will start to change too
It will slowly freeze into a position that shows your true feelings
For example, your shoulders will become rounder
Showing how you were always looking for protection
How you never felt you had someone who got your back
How you always thought you had to protect your heart

And possibly, your hips will get rigid
Showing you haven’t danced enough
Showing you haven’t had enough sex
Showing you have lost your sassy nature
Revealing you didn’t allow yourself to be wild
To swing your hips
To fully engage in life

Over time, you might get rigid and stiff
Your lower back might start hurting
You might start shuffling and stumbling
While your motion range will get smaller and smaller

Maybe, you will start bending over
Showing that you lost your pride along the way
That you no longer feel like a king or a queen
That you feel beaten and defeated

You know, honey
However much you are trying to hide your pain
By pulling that happy face
The truth will always come out
Sooner or later

And if you continue like this
You will start to shrink
Until in the end there is nothing left of you
But dry leaves
Blown away by the autumn wind

Unless …
You start to acknowledge your feelings
Now that you are still young
Now that you still can

Become real, my dear
Show your true feelings
Express them, to yourself and others
Let them out
Without reservation
Without shame
Because only when you share your feelings
The good, the bad and the ugly
They will not overtake you
They will not put you down

Don’t suppress anything anymore
Don’t fake your happiness
Don’t fake your pleasure
When you allow your emotions to wash through you
When you no longer try to deny your pain
Your original self will appear from within

And then, instead of slowly becoming more ugly
You will gradually become more beautiful
The older you get, the more you will shine
Your wrinkles, face and body will show grace
They will show peace
They will show wisdom
People will recognize your integrity
By the way you hold your body
By the look on your face
Your whole being will express divine symmetry
You will show that you have learned
How to live

Sanne Burger


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