I won’t leave without you

Sanne Burger

3 February 2019

Do you remember, beloved?
Do you remember, long ago, before time began, how we were floating in space?
How we were bathing in the white, eternal field of the supreme?
Do you remember how everything was pure bliss, absolute peace and silence?
Do you remember that eternal moment when something, a subtle part of our beings, touched, and because of that touch, we became aware?
For the very first time we became aware of ourselves, of our being, and each other.
And we became aware of being aware.
We became aware of our dreaming.
We became aware of our feelings, our senses… and for the first time we started to listen, we started to feel.
We felt the joy of being, the joy of dreaming, the pleasure of connecting
We felt this deep yearning, this deep curiosity welling up inside of us.
It was the desire to explore the universe, this verse of union, that suddenly had become creative and that we were a part of.

Do you remember how we started to dream together, beloved?

We were almighty.
We had no bodies, but we could imagine every possible body, so we did!
We created every possible body, and we were in every possible body.
We were shape shifters, we were manifestors, we were creators, you and I.
There were many other beings with us, too.
Many were waking up at the same time, in this eternal void, this belly of creation.
And from the supreme, the origin, you and I and many other immortal beings started our game, our dance of creation.

Do you remember how beautiful, how magnificent it was?

Do you remember those first dreams we had, those first adventures we created together?
Oh, our imagination was unstoppable!
Do you remember how we developed our sense of vision and how we, just to entertain ourselves, would create the most extraordinary spectacles?
Ah, the beginning of creation, with all its explosions and fireworks…

Do you remember how we fell in love with the elements, with the heat and the colors of fire, the intensity of passion, the coolness and the soothing quality of water, the freshness of the crisp air?

Oh, how magnificent it felt to breathe!
And do you remember how we became horses, and how we then became flying horses, with wings covering the horizon, and how we then became knights, riding these horses?
We were galloping across the clouds and our horses would jump over mountains and seas.
We would go absolutely crazy in creating landscapes to gallop in.
And then we became birds, remember?
Remember how it felt to soar through the sky at impossible heights and scream at the top of our voice?

Do you remember how it felt to make love back then?

Do you remember how it would make the jungle tremble, how the birds would fly up from the trees, how it it would make lions roar, how it would make mountains rumble, how it would create thunderstorms and floods, how it would make planets spin? Do you remember how beautiful, pure and joyful it was, how it would make us burst with life?

Oh honey, we have had so many adventures together

Do you remember how after eons of adventure, somehow a sense of solidity was created, a sense of time and distance, because we realized those were very handy in order to create stories and experiences?
Other beings also joined in on this particular manifestation and in the process, somehow, a certain hierarchy in the universe developed.
Over time, groups of beings agreed to limit their freedom of creation, to not go too crazy anymore, but to start considering the creations of other beings as well.
It became less unlimited, less wild, more sophisticated you could say, or more mature.
That was good, I guess, in the sense that the preferences most beings shared in their creative processes were the same anyway.
Most of us preferred beauty over ugliness, joy over sadness, creativity and harmony over decay and destruction.

And yet, there were a few beings at the time who chose a different path

They got a taste for what we now call the perverse, the underworlds.
They were curious to explore how far one can go in creating and undergoing suffering, perversity and destruction.
They were just a few beings, as this was so incongruent with our eternal essence, which would naturally be drawn towards peace and love, harmony and beauty.
But as we all had free will and as we were all creators without any limits, these beings also had the liberty of doing what they wanted.

Until this regulation, this shrinking appeared. Maybe it was necessary.

Certain beings decided to create rules, to create punishment.
They create a form of taxes.
Not taxes like we know in this world, but taxes that followed the rule: when you create destruction in the universe in a way that it harms other beings or limits their freedom to create what they want, there is a penalty.
The penalty was merely a limitation of energy, a limitation of fuel, that before was unlimited for every being.
This was how these beings imagined a peaceful universe, where creativity could still thrive.

We were innocent, but this is where the nightmare began

We were part of the artists.
We were the creators of beauty and joy.
There were other groups too, inventors, engineers, rulers, philosophers and yes… also criminals and perverts.
So, slowly slowly, over the course of millions of years in earthly terms, the hierarchy in this enormous universe became more solid, and our individual freedom became less.
We couldn’t help it, but for the first time ever we became bored.
We weren’t interested in hierarchy, we weren’t interested in paying taxes.
We just wanted to play.
We wanted to maintain this state of ultimate freedom and liberty we had before.
We wanted to be in ecstasy and bliss all the time.
We didn’t want to be limited.
Why should a few spoil it for everybody else?
So, our dance, our game at the time was playfully annoying those beings that installed the rules.
We weren’t criminals, we were just being naughty.
We were naive, we were like children.
For example, if the size of a flying horse was limited, we would make it just a little bit bigger.
We made everything a bit bigger, louder, more colorful, more disturbing.
It was just for fun.
We were enjoying ourselves with our little acts of rebellion.

And that became our downfall

Do you remember, beloved?
Do you remember how they stopped us?
Do you remember how they tricked us, by showing us the most beautiful version of each other, with hearts and arms wide open…
Do you remember how we approached, once more, for the millionth time, in awe, in love with each other, to embrace one another, to feel the unity, the oneness, the holy, sacred joy of our origin, of our connection?
And do you remember, my darling, how it was a trap?
They trapped us into a device they had created – a vicious, electrical, holographic device.
They forced a current through our being.
They were so fast, so forceful…
For the first time in our existence we couldn’t respond.
We no longer had free will.
In that very moment they took it from us.
They erased our memory and we became totally disempowered in that moment.
That’s what they wanted.
And once they succeeded, once we were totally powerless, we were exiled.

We were sent to planet Earth and we were put in a human body, developed to temporarily survive the harsh circumstances on earth.

Our human bodies were mortal.
They created an urge in us to obsessively procreate and to continuously seek food and shelter, in order to maintain it.
As we were debilitated with amnesia, we didn’t remember we were immortal, powerful beings.
We felt utterly lost and weak.
It was horrific to wake up in a human body, on an unknown planet, without knowing who we were or where we were.
We were bewildered.
We were lost.
We felt abandoned, betrayed and terrified.
We knew that something was terribly wrong, that our mind was not working as it should.
We knew we had forgotten something very important, but we couldn’t remember what it was.

The only thing we clearly felt at the time was this bodily urge to procreate, the urge to feed, this weird instinct of self-preservation and a constant sense of separation that we didn’t understand at all.

What was left of our immortal nature was our sense of beauty, our sense of aesthetics.
A little piece of our immortal soul they had kept intact – or, maybe they had just failed to erase it.
Good for us… it kept us going.
We could still feel joy, looking through the eyes of our bodies, using our limited senses.
We could still recognize the elements, which gave us a sense of familiarity.
We could still enjoy the variety of the many amazing, magnificent creatures on this planet, during those rare moments we felt safe.

So… without knowing who we were, without knowing our origins and without knowing where we were, we kind of followed the impulses of our bodies, stumbling along, not knowing anything else to do but trying to keep this body alive.

If we didn’t, we would sense a dreadful fear.
Fear was something we didn’t know from before.
It was installed in these bodies to keep us trapped there and to force us to maintain them.
It worked.
However, in quite a short time our bodies would decay and stop working anyway.
This was called death.
It was done on purpose, as it was more effective than creating immortal bodies.
After death we would go into a form of induced hypnosis, automatically return to the stations where they would electrocute us again, and then they sent us back in another body.
Again, and again, and again.

Do you remember, beloved?

Do you remember how in the midst of that nightmare we would sometimes meet in a human body, our eyes would meet and we would suddenly see a glimpse of our origin?
Do you remember how we would suddenly feel a jolt of exhilaration, a bit like how we felt when our beings touched for the first time?
Do you remember how we would, just for a moment, remember the joy we had when we were riding the waves and the clouds, without understanding it at all?
We would call it falling in love, and in a way it was.
It was grace, yet it was sad too, as we didn’t recognize this feeling as our true nature.

Do you remember the hope we felt, when we heard about certain beings on earth who had become immortal?

Laozi, Pan, Vishnu…
They were described as both humans and Gods, mythical figures who had managed to escape the matrix of human existence, who had left their bodies, who had gone beyond time and space.
Do you remember, when we heard those tales, how it stirred something in us, because it reminded us of where we came from?
It almost made us remember: Yes, we are Gods!
We are eternal, immortal beings.
We are the principle of creation, we are at the core of it.
We were there from the beginning, and we will always be there

Myth kept us going, myth beheld our deepest truth

Do you remember the horror we felt when we heard about yet another religion, installing this one particular God, telling us we were powerless slaves, crippling our minds once again, telling us that our only job was to obey, to procreate, to pay taxes – just like before, when we were too naughty, too big, too loud, too playful, too selfish, too demonstrative, too different?
Do you remember how painful it was to see a whole population shrink, due to induced fear?
Yes, we were vulnerable, because we knew nothing, but we intuitively knew it was wrong!

I can see you don’t remember, beloved. Not yet. You’ve had too many shocks.

But I do remember.
I remember who you are.
I remember who I am.
And I can feel the time has come for us and for the whole of humanity to wake up.
I can feel it.
All over the world, there are sparks of consciousness appearing.
We were not the only ones, beloved.
Many immortal beings have been trapped, have had the same treatment of electroshocks.
Many have lost their memory and have been put in a human body on this prison planet called Earth.

But now we are waking up

I don’t know exactly why it is happening now, but I sense that we get help.
I sense that other groups of beings out there, who have their consciousness intact, have finally noticed what’s going on here.
We’re far away from home, you know.
And for most beings it is very difficult to imagine that such a degree of viciousness exists, where one group of beings comes up with the idea to punish another group by robbing their memory, taking away their sense of who they are, and then lock them up on a remote planet, for eternity.
Something that vicious, that evil, that dark, is just unimaginable for most beings.
But somehow they finally lifted the veil, got access to us, understood what was going on and decided to help.
Maybe one of us managed to wake up from his or her amnesia and managed to go home and inform the others about what happened.

Lately, in the last 100 years or so, the awakening has really taken off

Since the beginning of the industrial revolution, that came about with a lot of help from civilizations outside this realm of time and space, big progress has been made.
Great technology, but also great literature and art has emerged.
You can also recognize it by the fact that the teachings of the old Veda’s and that of one of the first human immortals on this planet, Laozi, a man who managed to wake up by himself from his amnesia, long before the rest, are now shared worldwide.
And look at the music and fantastic movies that have come forward and help us to remember, and how much we can connect and share information through the internet.

So maybe, just maybe, now is the time that we can all wake up and remember who we really are

I have a feeling that the particular group that did this to us, that kept us in exile for so long – I don’t know who they are – has lost most of its power.
Maybe they have been conquered by another group, I don’t know, but it seems that the electroshock in between lives on earth have stopped.
Maybe that’s why so many of us now regain our memory.
It also seems to me that for every person that wakes up, it becomes easier for the next person to wake up.
We are in an acceleration process.

At this point in time we get so much help

Another way I feel they help us is by seeds.

Entheogens. They secretly smuggle the seeds and spores of sacred mushrooms, roots, herbs and cacti to this planet.
It’s good seeds and spores are so small, as they can easily penetrate the veil without being noticed.
They are usually hidden in meteorites.
The seeds and the medicine made from it contain all the information we need to know to wake up.
It’s high-tech stuff from our brothers and sisters in outer space, from our tribe in the universe.
Every person who has the courage, the intuition and the longing to remember, will do so when they drink this medicine.
This has been a major key to the awakening of humanity.
Really, we are almost there.

Soon you will remember too, my darling. You and I, we are immortal beings

I am not this body.
You are not that body.
We are not separate.
We are one.
We are not growing old, our bodies are growing old.
We don’t die, our bodies die.
We only suffer as long as we don’t know who we are.
I hope, beloved, that in this lifetime we will both wake up and remember who we are.
And if not in this life, then it will happen in the in-between.
And if it doesn’t happen in the in-between, it will happen in the next life.

I remember who I am, beloved, and I will never leave your side.
I will never leave you behind, while I go home.
I couldn’t bear the thought of you not knowing who you are, you being imprisoned in a mortal body on planet Earth for eternity, while I am free.
No, honey, that’s not how it works in the universe.
I cannot be free when you are not free.
I don’t want to be.
In the universe, the verse of union, we honor our oneness.
You are as important to me as I am to myself, as I am to you, as we are to one another, and I’m going to take you home, even if it will take another number of lifetimes.
I love you.
I am the universe.
You are the universe.
The universe is timeless, boundless love.
There is only love.
And then there is amnesia .

Beloved, once you remember, I will be there and I will hold you.
And after that we will go home, riding on the back of our winged horses, who will be bigger and stronger than ever before.

Sanne Burger

Illustration: Susan Seddon Boulet


Inspired by:

The work of Graham Hancock

Barry Long: ‘The Origins of Man & the Universe’

‘Interview with an alien’ – Matilda O’Donnell MacElroy

My experiences with ayahuasca en wachuma

En many, many other sources



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