Crossing the river is lonely


One could see the journey of the spiritual seeker as crossing a river.

You are going from one reality to another.
You are leaving conventions and old belief systems.
You are leaving the matrix, one could say.

But you are also leaving your parents, your family and friends.
You are leaving your childhood memories, that gave you a feeling of safety.
You are leaving the comfort of that which is known.

You do this in the pursuit of something new, but in the process you are alone.
You are crossing the river on your own, or so it seems.
Somehow that is the nature of the beast.

You have left the old, but you have not arrived at the new yet.
You do not have any stability.
Nothing is certain.
Even the river is not reliable.
It is like a tidal river, like the Guadiana river in Spain.
Sometimes it flows in this direction, sometimes it flows in that direction.

Time and time again you have to reset your intention, redirect your focus.
Sometimes there is nothing to navigate on, no anchor, no outer direction.
Sometimes you can be totally bewildered, and you might get tired, or even desperate.
Either shore is nowhere to be seen.
Are you ever going to make it?

And then you might find little islands in the river.
Places that look like you could find some rest.
It might be a place where you initially feel at home, but soon you will find it is not what you were looking for.
These are distraction islands.
They are disillusioning, like the world you left behind.
And sooner or later you will have to leave again.

Crossing the river is definitely not easy.
But it is worth it!
You have to get to the other side of the river.
You have to get to the shore, in order to know for yourself.
It is real!

You are like Columbus, if we are to believe the history books.
You are heading for a world of which you are not certain it exists.
So far it only exists in your imagination.
The people at home said you are mad, that it does not exist.

But you are longing for like minded souls, for truth, for honesty, for a lifestyle that is not destructive, for a life in harmony with nature, in harmony with your soul’s purpose, with who you really are, in openness, in joy.

You might not be sure it exists anymore.
You might get tired, desperate and lonely.
You might even wonder whether you got it all wrong.
You might consider turning around, wondering if there still is a way back.
You might miss your family and the comfort of the old shores.
You might wish you had never left.

But let me tell you this: it does exist.
Do not give up.
Just recognize the loneliness as a sign that you are on the path.
You are actually doing really well.

Sanne Burger


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